Saturday, December 11, 2010


I will ignore your comment about my lovely red tutu. It was my newest clothing accessory for month of November. And about that script....I didn't need one. No lines. But there is no bitterness here. No sir-ree!

Anyways, enough about me....wait....this post is my post. Which means I can talk about myself as much as I feel like.
Hmm....Let's see....what can I talk about that would get on my dear p.b.g (person body guard)?
AH! I remember a time when we were eating dinner. She subway, me panda express. Yum. Anyways, you all know how they always give you a fortune cookie with your meal? Well, I got one that I saved for later. Well, later came soon, because as we were walking around town, Agent Lee was acting all paranoid and such. So I opened my fortune cookie because I was starting to get hungry again. And guess what it said!!!!
"Don't be overly suspicious where it's not warranted."
I laughed so hard that I almost peed my pants. So I tell my dear agent Lee.....Please don't be overly suspicious about that box of chocolate chip cookies that I left on your desk....I didn't forget anything this time....well....I might have mixed up the salt and the sugar again....the Secretary of defense said that they tasted good....but I did catch him tossing the box that I gave him in the trash as I left his office.
Anyways, this is my post. Lovely isn't it??? I finally got around to it, even when I was very busy.
Yes, Agent Lee, I do count avoiding my responsibilities as what keeps me busy the most. It is at the top of my to-do list everyday.
Good day....good night....good bye....
I'll get back to my public sometime or later.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Curse You, Madame President!

Dear Madame President,
It has been MONTHS since you posted anything. The deal was that we would take turns posting, yes, but when you don't post for FOUR MONTHS, it tends to tick off the second party involved in the agreement.

Madame President: POST THIS WEEK. OR I WILL SHOOT YOU. IN THE HAND. So drop the tutu and the script and start typing.

I mean it! I'm so bored here!

Secret Agent A. Lee
American Secret Service
Bodyguard of a Moron

Friday, July 9, 2010

Hi...(nothing to say, really)

Hello everyone. I'm sorry, but I have nothing to write. I am completely drained. So, as you might have heard, Madame Stupid ditched her "temporary replacement" bodyguard to hang out at the arcade. Can you believe it?! I mean, here I am with my first week off since the Calcium Debacle of '09 (stupid congressmen's aids and their stupid gallons of milk) and Madame President goes and screws it up.

Oh well. I found a new outlet to unwind: deserts. I made some parfaits last night (with mint and raspberries from MY garden) and they turned out pretty cuss good.

Anyway, I'm thinking of making Madame President come with me to the shooting range.

And not giving her earplugs.

I have a feeling that'll make me feel MUCH better.

Secret Agent A. Lee
Personal Presidential Bodyguard
United States Secret Service

Friday, June 25, 2010

Hi Everyone

Hi everyone. Sorry about that last post. Hope you didn't think I got assassinated or anything bad like that. I got distracted and hit the post button too soon and haven't gotten back to this till now.
In my defense I was totally winning that pac man game when agent Lee came storming into that arcade. She didn't have to wreck it like she did. Anyways while I was occupied with computer stuff I found a couple of videos ya'll might like.

Video Number One

Video Number Two

Have fun laughing my wonderful subjects, I mean public.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Are You Kidding Me?!



Friday, June 18, 2010

Soooooo Not Funny

Madame President, I know EXACTLY what is going on. You are deliberately hiding so I would come back from Taiwan, aren't you. (That is a STATEMENT, not a question.) I know that Agent Daws isn't...quite up to snuff, but he was the only replacement I could find on such short notice (God only knows what would have happened if I had brought YOU to Taiwan with me).

So quit it and...get back


Madame President, this really isn't funny.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

SHH...I'm Hiding

Hello everyone of the planet earth. I am typing to one and all from my secret computer in the basement of the big house. I have skulked...(hehe...i love the word skulk....i try to use it on a daily basis. anyways)... out of one of the many meetings I have on a daily basis and hide in the basement where I am in my pj's, eating ice cream and cookies, and watching the latest movies. Such as Star Wars, Sherlock Holmes, and other fun stuff!!! Yay!
You might be wondering how I managed to skulk away without detection. It is because I have a substitute body guard. (who, in my opinion, isn't really good at his job. I wonder how he became a special agent in the first place... the mysteries that haunt my mind.) You are wondering what happened to my beloved body guard that you have grown to love Agent Lee is. Taiwan's what happened. She got called away for a special training thingy and didn't think of taking me. How unthoughtful of her.
Okay everyone....I have a special surprise for you all....Hold your breath in anticipation!!!! Okay... I'm going-------------

Monday, March 8, 2010


Sometimes, I start to regret going into protection.

But then I take a nice relaxing trip to the shooting range and it recedes a bit.

Last week, however, there was a bit of a complication. After Madame President blew up her secondary office (there is no way they actually let her use the Oval Office) with the exploding earrings of mine that she NEVER GAVE BACK TO ME, she was forced to tag along to my office, which is a glorified garage with a couch.

It was the couch that started it all.

See, Madame President has this thing for couches. They have to be really comfortable, really big, and/or really bounce. Mine was none of the above. And as such, Madame President just HAD to make it her new personal quest to make my couch 'better'.

Let me say this right now: I like my couch. It is uncomfortable and smells like squirrels and decaf, yes, but it is my couch. So I told her NO. This, however, did not seem to deter her from rummaging around my 'terrorist drawer' (as SHE calls it, not me) for some metal parts to 'alter' my couch.

I tried to ignore her as I cleaned my Browning Automatic, but when she came up with wire cutters, a six-inch screw, a socket-wrench, and a screwdriver, I figured I should probably intervene.

"Madame President, what are you doing?" I inquired.

"Improving your living conditions," she replied, putting on a welding helmet and firing up a drill.

In the next three seconds, she proceeded to trip and fall onto a wheeled back-board, roll three feet and turn on my blowtorch, which then lit my couch on fire. MY couch. MINE. ON FIRE.

Ten seconds after that, the couch was covered in chemical fire-suppressant foam, the blowtorch was off, and Madame President was stuck head-first in a metal oil drum.

See, this is why I don't let her come to my apartment; there would be nothing left. God only knows how she became the president in the first place.

So, to work off my frustration, I took a nice trip to the shooting range.

Guess what building was closed for 'remodeling' due to a 'suspicious' explosion...

The shooting range.

Something/one is going to die, and at this point I don't care if it's a terrorist or a tetherball. I'm getting out my P-90.

Friday, February 5, 2010

My Post

Well, as Agent Lee stated below I was supposed to post months ago. But in my defense I've had too much to do, and I had Post on Blog written on a post-it note that was stuck to the back of my computer. Don't ask me how it got there, because I have no clue.
But Agent Lee has given me an idea!!! I will put down my own list of what I would like to do in the future. Goodie! *rubbing hands together in excitement* Let's begin....
1. Take over the word

(Wait a minute....I've already have done that....whoops. Oh well.)

2. Finish taking over China so that may be able to knock the earth out of orbit...
(i'll have to explain this one later.)

3. Take the world's leaders and my writing teacher out fly fishing.

4. Have a shinny robo suit like Iron Man. (With that, who needs secret service?)

5. Have secret Bases in every state that I could access with underground freeways.

6. Have a World wide PJ day.

7. Change the standard president dress to something along the lines of Matrix

8. Follow Agent Lee to one of her survival training trips and bring lots of chocolate chip cookies, matches, radio, and not share.

9. Travel by horse back from the tip of the rocky mountains in Canada to the bottom in Southern Utah/Arizona/Colorado/New Mexico.

10. Have Agent Lee fluent in ASL so that we can actually communicate during secret missions and be able to tell jokes to each other across the room during top secret meetings.

Madam President

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Fun Stuff

Hello all. Madame President was SUPPOSED to update a few MONTHS ago, but she didn't. So I will, I guess.

Have you ever thought about what would be the coolest thing to do? EVER? I have. I've compiled a list here:

1. Go head to head against Jason Bourne.

2. Remove someone's appendix in an emergency surgery.

3. Skydive into rural Indonesia for six-day survival training.

4. Shoot a crossbow.

5. Drive a Bugatti Veyron

6. Ride a motorcycle on North Yungas Road

7. Hike through Aokigahara for survival training.

8. Spend a month in Malaysia surviving in the rainforest.

9. Re-enact a museum high-security robbery.

10. Fly a NASA X-43A.

Ah, the beauty of it all (even though most people say that I'm nuts).

Secret Agent Annabel Lee
United States Secret Service